How Big is Your Burque Belly?

Published March 19th, 2025 at 12:00 am, Last Updated March 19th, 2025 at 12:37 pm

Are you an Albuquerque foodie? A longtime local gourmand? A Taco Tuesday aficionado? Or just someone who eats out a heck of a lot? How does your taste buds’ knowledge of famous local restaurants stack up against that of your fellow Albuquerque eaters? We’re talking about institutions of food and drink here, and you can’t call yourself a local if you haven’t visited the majority of them to stuff your face.

So, take the following test to see how big your Burque Belly is.

Score one point for each question you answer “yes” to. Have you ever:

1. Housed an Allsup’s burrito in the front seat of your car?
2. Had Frontier Restaurant huevos rancheros slathered in boiling hot green chile stew from the serve-it-yourself pot? Add an extra point if you did this after midnight.
3. Eaten at the restaurant at the top of the tram (originally Summit House/High Finance, now Ten 3)?
4. Taken out-of-town guests to El Pinto?
5. Had the blue corn pizza at Golden Crown Panaderia?
6. Stood in line for bread at The Burque Bakehouse?
7. Actually ridden your bike to Bike-In Coffee for Sunday brunch at Old Town Farm?
8. Drank a beer at Billy’s Long Bar while playing pool?
9. Spoken the password to get into Founders Speakeasy?
10. Ordered a taco from a taco truck?
11. Bought a burrito from a genuine burrito lady selling her wares from an old Igloo cooler at an office park/construction site/place of business?
12. Rinsed and bagged a sack of green chile after acquiring it directly from a dude roasting it in the parking lot of a supermarket?
13. Eaten a chili dog in the parking lot of the Dog House on Central?
14. Bought a bag of “Blue Meth” candy from The Candy Lady in Old Town?
15. Purchased pinons from a pickup truck parked next to a freeway offramp?
16. Picked up and eaten a bag of beef jerky while touring the EXPO New Mexico flea market?
17. Consumed a slice of Dion’s 505 pizza (pepperoni and green chile) slathered in ranch dressing?
18. Devoured an entire smoked turkey leg at the State Fair?
19. Had the green chile cheeseburger at Monte Carlo Steakhouse?
20. Driven down to San Antonio on a Saturday afternoon for a green chile cheeseburger at either the Owl Cafe or the Buckhorn Tavern?
21. Ordered tamales for Christmas at El Modelo?
22. Visited Cervantes Restaurant & Lounge during Halloween?
23. Had a milkshake at Route 66 Cafe?
24. Ordered a Coney dog at Lindy’s Diner (opened Downtown in 1929 and originally known as Coney Island Cafe)?
25. Grabbed a plastic bag full of duros de harina drowned in Tapatio salsa from a guy pushing a streetcart full of Mexican snacks?
26. Eaten a hot dog at Isotopes Stadium? Old timer bonus point if it was during a $1 hot dog night promotion. Two bonus points if it was during a 50-cent hot dog night!
27. Memorized your favorite Blake’s breakfast burrito by number?
28. Had the egg fu young burger at Lucky Boy? 
29. Eaten steak fingers and eggs for breakfast at Mac’s La Sierra Coffee Shop at the top of Nine Mile Hill?
30. Thrown a pizza onto the roof of Walter White’s house on Piermont Dr.?

Bonus questions for old timers! Gone but not forgotten places. One bonus point if you ever:

1. Raised the flag for seconds at Pancho’s Mexican Buffet?
2. Gorged yourself on all-you-can-eat chicken and fish at Bella Vista Restaurant in Cedar Crest?
3. Chugged “Green Monster” inside the cartoon booth at Shakey’s Pizza Parlor?
4. Ate the Mountain of Nachos during happy hour at Chelsea St. Pub in Coronado Mall?
5. Celebrated a birthday party at the Soda Straw?
6. Got stuffed on all-you-can-eat spaghetti and meatballs at The Spaghetti Machine?
7. Snagged a slice from the short-lived Nunzio’s Express drive through on San Mateo?
8. Downed a pizza while intoxicated at the old Jack’s Lounge on Central?
9. Started a dinner off right with a trip to the salad bar at The Cooperage?
10. Enjoyed prime rib and a cocktail at Paul’s Monterey Inn?
11. Ate an entire chicken fried steak bigger than your head at Murphy’s Mule Barn?
12. Drank a “Foot Warmer” after your meal at the Town House Restaurant?
13. Remember when Royal Fork was a buffet restaurant and not just a weird sign in the parking lot of an apartment building Downtown?
14. Consumed a triple “giant” cheeseburger at Griff’s?
15. Still call Flying Star Cafe “Double Rainbow” from time to time?

SCORE: 1-5 Tourist!, 6-10 Pobrecito, 11-15 Fussy Eater, 16-25, Certified Local, 26-35 Regular Customer, 36-40 Watch Out Gil Garduño, 41-48 Albuquerque Eating Machine!