MARRIAGE means promising each other to be in love and to make love with ONLY each other until death do us part. MANY questions for a man and a woman, two women or two men wanting to marry…

Do you both want kids? How many? If one of you does NOT want kids, what then? Do you agree on how to raise kids? How differently were you each raised by your parents? Are you OPPOSED to HITTING and CURSING kids? 

Are you both religious? Same religion? If one of you is NOT religious, will you raise your kids in religion? If different religions, how will you decide which religion for your kids?

Do you both know and feel loved by the other’s family? When you wrong each other, do you APOLOGIZE? Do you FORGIVE? Do you hold GRUDGES?

Many couples fight like crazy over MONEY. Does one of you enjoy living SIMPLY? Does the other want to BUY, BUY, BUY CRAP no one needs? If so, SEPARATE money accounts?

Want to live in a small place or a mansion? In a LOW income community with people of ALL COLORS? In a HIGH income, mostly white community?

Does one of you need and want much more peace and quiet with less TV, radio and music? Stay up late or get up early? Many visits from friends? A very neat, always picture perfect house or one that feels relaxed and lived in?

Does one of you eat ONLY HEALTHY PLANT foods? The other mostly junk? Drinks BOOZE? Uses illegal drugs? 

Are you truthful with each other? Do you LIE about anything? Open and HONEST about your past? Anything you are afraid to tell your partner? Anything about your partner’s beliefs, feelings and past you are afraid to ask? Do you both enjoy warmly hugging alone and in public? Are you emotionally constipated in showing feelings? Do you both have longtime CLOSE friends? Are either of you very insecure and jealous?

Do you welcome PERSONAL QUESTIONS? 

Are you committed to live FAIRLY in our world family of 8 BILLION sisters and brothers? Are you ADDICTED to the American Dream – a NIGHTMARE DISASTER for the world’s hungry and homeless MILLIONS and for ALL life on Earth? 

Are you strongly sexually attracted to each other? If sex is NOT important for you both now, what if someday that changes for one of you? If passionate sex is very important for you, how often? Do you tell each other what turns you on and what turns you off in making love?

My close friend Tom, a preacher, married a woman. Years later he realized his strong attraction to certain men. He and his wife stayed together until he died but she never fully accepted his sex with a man. My friend Beverly knew BEFORE she married Frank his attraction to men — much better for both Beverly and Frank. Often one partner in a male/female marriage has not realized or accepted his or her attraction to the same gender before marriage. 

If you see or meet someone you feel sexually attracted to, do you feel free to tell your spouse? Are you more attracted to some other persons than your spouse?

Do you both enjoy CUDDLING together – NAKED and SOBER? Can you both ARGUE vigorously and still feel deeply connected? Are you turning off much of yourself to stay together?

If you are STARVING ROMANTICALLY, are you turning to booze, gambling, hogging down junk food fighting over stupid stuff or becoming a workaholic? 

Are you free from all shame and guilt about being naked and your sex together?
Are you changing how and how much you travel, how much you consume and pollute to slow the climate crisis catastrophe? Nearly the same on politics or very different? On racism, white supremacy, justice, police brutality, U.S. WARS?

Do you prefer to sleep in the same bed or separate beds?

Before making a solemn vow to being romantic ONLY with each other until one of you dies, try living together for 6 months or a year to see how your relationship works.

How do you talk about your past girlfriends or boyfriends? If someday you both divorce, do you refuse to blame it all on the other as a devil? A peaceful or bitter divorce? 

If you become severely disabled with dementia or paralysis much less capable of sex, do you want your partner to enjoy sex with someone else?

I TREASURE hot affectionate SEX and passionate ROMANCE with certain LEAN, HEALTHY men who have NO shame, NO guilt about sex with men. But I do NOT want to MARRY any man no matter how attracted I am to him, no matter how much I am in love with him. I can be openly and deeply in love with several men at the same time so I would feel trapped, caged and suffocating in marriage to one man. I refuse to make this promise I would soon regret. I aim to tell the TRUTH and NOT to make foolish promises I would want to break!