A recent study found that relationships between employees and bosses in New Mexico are “among the best in America.”

This sure sounds like a study conducted by a bunch of bosses. 

Clouds and thunderstorms in some parts of the U.S. thwarted eclipse viewers’ plans. 

Like André 3000 once said, “You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather.”

The Albuquerque Animal Welfare Department says to make sure found litters of kittens are abandoned by their mother before bringing them home.

This is just another sign of the deconstruction of the nuclear cat family. 

Curb Your Enthusiasm ended its run after 25 years.

Great, now where are we going to find the grumblings of a cantankerous, old white guy?

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers confiscated products and arrested a local cannabis company employee for trying to transport legal weed through an internal checkpoint.

Maybe that’s why we heard Bob Marley blaring from the checkpoint later that night. 

The FBI is looking for a man they’re calling the “Tan Pants Bandit” who robbed a Rio Rancho bank. 

And just like that, youth pastors across the state are considering changing up their looks.

Adam Sandler confirmed that he’s working on a sequel to Happy Gilmore

What’s next, a Space Jam sequel? Oh, wait. 

April 12 is national “deskfast day,” where everyone is encouraged to eat breakfast at their desks instead of skipping the most important meal of the day. 

Every day is “deskfast day” in our office.

Spotify is beta testing a new AI feature where users can create playlists using text prompts.
“Hey Spotify, create a playlist that will keep us from crying while we eat our #9 burrito over our keyboards.”

Monday is Tax Day
Remember to pay on time to avoid any fees or fines and so Uncle Sam can afford to take our legal weed.

This story is a staff report from The Paper.