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Our weird state has its share of oddball laws and unsolved creepy crimes. Rules such as “no hairy legs in public” and “keep your spit to yourself” are some of our oddball laws. We found some funny laws and what local police are doing about unsolved crimes.

Don’t Even Think About It!

Got a big ball of slimy yuk hanging around in your throat while walking down the boulevard? If someone spits it out on any public property, building, church or sidewalk and a copper sees it hit the ground, then you could be found guilty of a petty misdemeanor. It is considered conduct offensive to public well-being. Yup, it is a crime to see nasty boogies anywhere other than a tissue. 

Have a problem with horses? Do not plan on tripping an equine—which is a horse, pony, mule, donkey or hinny—for entertainment. It is a misdemeanor; but if the horse is hurt, then it is a fourth degree felony and a very mean thing to do.

Heads up to all who get the urge to throw a cup of ice in the direction of the umpire during an Isotopes game. It is a petty misdemeanor to throw any object on or across the field of an active paid athletic event. Keep your temper in check or a judge will send you to anger management classes. 

No Slippery Nipples

No nipples or testicles with the vino, please. If a bar owner wants their wait people to show their “intimate parts” to the public while serving food or libation, they can’t do it in a licensed liquor establishment. That is why all totally nude dance places can’t serve booze. But slap on a pastie, thong, piece of tape or a loincloth, then it’s all good. Clubs found violating this law of indecent waitering can have their booze license suspended or revoked.

Girlfriends, don’t be running around Carrizozo with hairy anything showing. It is against village law for females to appear in public unshaven. Dang, can’t even imagine what sparked this law to go into effect. Same should be said about some of those ‘Zozo dudes as well.  

Out on the town with your sombrero? Leave it on the table with your tequila when the happy dance feet urges you to boogie. It is illegal to dance with one on your head. Wise move. Think about the chaos that could be caused by a room full of dancing sombreros.

I Challenge You To a Duel

Pissed off at your neighbor? It is a fourth degree felony to try and settle the beef with a duel involving a deadly weapon. And if a neighbor tries to entice or invite others to a duel, and they accept, all parties better run and hide or be guilty of a fourth degree felony. Seems like Nerf guns are not deadly weapons, nor are light sabers.

That’s my guy! Cab fares have been hard to come by for the traditional taxi driver with the onset of ride share options. But it is still illegal in Albuquerque for a cabbie to reach out and grab a potential fare and pull them into their cabs. Makes the bus look like an option.

What Happens In Your Car, Stays In Your Car

If people want to have sex in a parked car or van during the lunch hour in Carlsbad, then they need to have curtains that can be drawn so strangers can’t peek in and watch.  That must have been quite a city meeting passing that law. And what the heck, if the mood strikes for a romp while in Carlsbad in a parked car during the lunch hour, maybe a few curious eyes drawn to peek in the vehicle is not unexpected. Keep the eyes in check, because there are voyeurism laws on the books as well if peeking becomes a habit.

Who would’ve thought Shakespeare wrote porn. Well, somewhere along the line state officials decided there were 400 sexually explicit words within Romeo and Juliet that needed to be removed before teenagers could read the romance in schools. Wow, what crazy redactions would they have done to high school AP reads like Lady Chatterly’s Lover?

Oh, Say Can You Sing?

Ever been to a big public gathering where folks were singing an official anthem such as “O Fair New Mexico” or “The Star Spangled Banner” and went all off-tune or made up their own words messing with your rhythm? Turn those crooners in, because it is a petty misdemeanor to improperly use or sing an official anthem.

There must have been a lot of weirdos running around in 1911 to make state lawmakers make it a crime for an idiot to vote. The state constitution says “idiots, insane persons and persons convicted of felonious crimes,” unless restored, cannot vote in elections of public officers. Taking a look at some of our state’s election outcomes, it appears there are still a lot of idiots getting into the voting booth.

Duke City Case Files

The Albuquerque metro area has more than its share of odd unsolved crimes worthy of not forgetting. Every day there is a shocking report of a body found or a shocking criminal activity, some are easily unraveled others are not. Rumors abound, truth is evasive.

The Albuquerque Police Department wants to clear the backlog of unsolved homicides haunting our metro area. In June the folks at the police department launched a video series called “Duke City Case Files” that will highlight recent unsolved homicides. To date there are a couple of good episodes highlighting the murders of DeAndre Garcia and Christopher Andrews. Say their names and check it out here: youtube.com/watch?v=alA0VGOFoPI

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