Black Water: Abyss (Crackle streaming) Crackle (still a thing) premieres this sorta-sequel to the 2007 Aussie survival horror movie Black Water. In this one a group of thrill-seeking friends becomes trapped in a deep, subterranean cave system during a flood. Then the man-eating crocodiles show up. I hate it when that happens.
“Perfect Life” (HBO Max streaming) In this Spanish-language dramedy, a trio of 30-year-old besties settle into what they think are their comfortable adult lives—only to discover that they haven’t achieved long-promised happiness and that life still has a few major twists and turns to throw at them.
“Toddlers & Tiaras: Where Are They Now?” (Discovery+ streaming) If I had to place a bet, I’d put money on workin’ at the local Dairy Queen.
“Walker” (KWBQ-19 7pm) Jared Padalecki (“Supernatural”) tries to fill Chuck Norris’ shoes in this remake of “Walker, Texas Ranger.” Padalecki’s fine and all, but—like Chuck Norris—can he kill two stones with one bird? Can he rub two ice cubes together to start a fire? When he crosses the street, do the cars look both ways? When he slices onions, do the onions cry? If he was exposed to coronavirus, would the virus have to quarantine for two weeks?
“The Rev” (USA 8:31pm) Reverend Richard Hartley, the pastor at a Long Island church and the patriarch of a “fun, outspoken family,” gets his own “reality sitcom.” Pretty sure “get a cable TV reality show” has now replaced “own your own home” as the American Dream.
“3 Caminos” (Amazon streaming) Five diverse friends (German, Mexican, Korean, Spanish) take a trio of road trips (in 2000, 2006 and 2021) in this time-hopping drama about “friendship and loss, jealousy and love, courage and despair, forgiveness, bliss and finding their own personal purpose” in various stages of life.
“Losing Alice” (Apple TV+ streaming) Tired of Nordic Noir? How about some Israeli Neo-Noir? In this eight-episode psycho-thriller, an aging film director named Alice (Ayelet Zurer) develops an obsession with a young screenwriter, Sophie (Lihi Kornowski), whose dark and troubled script appears more truth than fiction.
“The Sister” (Hulu streaming) This I Know What You Did Last Summer-esque crime drama is based on the book Burial by Neil Cross (creator of the British cop drama “Luther”). A young family man is shocked when an eccentric old friend shows up at his house one rainy night, threatening to expose the secrets of a deadly party they both attended years ago.
“Fate: The Winx Saga” (Netflix streaming) Twentysomethings who grew up watching Nickelodeon’s early 2000s cartoon “Winx Club” will be … delighted? surprised? confused?—I’m really not sure—to see this live-action sequel about fairies learning how to use their powers at a magical boarding school. And yeah, like all YA series these days, it’s a slight twist on Harry Potter.
“Painting With John” (HBO 9pm) After his delightful 1991 cult series “Fishing With John,” musician John Lurie returns with this pitch-perfect follow-up in which he acts like Bob Ross and reflects on his odd life.
Salt-N-Pepa (Lifetime 6pm) The late-’80s rap/hip-hop duo of Salt (Cheryl James) and Pepa (Sandra Denton) get the biopic treatment. Here’s hoping DJ Spinderella gets some love too.
“A Wild Year on Earth” (BBC America 6pm) “Downton Abbey” star Laura Carmichael narrates this British nature series. … Like humans with reality shows, do you think animals get jealous of other animals being followed around with cameras and made famous on TV?
“Bridge and Tunnel” (Epix 7pm) Indie director Edward Burns (The Brothers McMullen, She’s The One, Sidewalks of New York, The Groomsman, The Fitzgerald Family Christmas) doesn’t stray far from his roots with this ’80s-set dramedy series about working-class, Irish-Catholic folks from Long Island navigating various romantic and familial crises.
“Deer Squad” (Nickelodeon 7am) This CGI-animated kiddie series out of China centers on a group of magically superpowered anthropomorphic deer who protect the citizens of a futuristic metropolis from harm. It’s as if the cutesy animals of “PAW Patrol” gained the powers of “Captain Planet” then inherited the job of the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”
“Go Dog Go” (Netflix streaming) P.D. Eastman’s 1961 kids’ picture book becomes a computer-animated series about speed-crazed canines courtesy of DreamWorks Animation.
“QAnon: Shadows and Lies” (Vice 8pm) Vice explores the kooky (and, evidently, pretty dangerous) philosophy behind the “Donald Trump is saving the world from immortal bloodsucking Hollywood pedophile vampires” conspiracy.
“Resident Alien” (Syfy 9:34pm) Alan Tudyk (“Firefly”) stars in one of those TV shows in which the quaintly eccentric small-town doctor solves crimes. The sci-fi twist? The “doctor” is actually a space alien pretending to be a human.